Tuesday, January 29, 2013

The iPhone Spring

New commercial I put together. A cross-promotional team up between Apple and Mother Nature...

Monday, January 28, 2013

Great Movie-Going Experiences

     I recently fell asleep watching "Django Unchained." I had already seen it once. I was by myself and killing some time before going out for drinks. 
     A black guy sitting behind me kicked my seat and said, "Wake up nigga, you snorin'." 
     "Thanks," I said, and didn't make another peep. 
     This was definitely my greatest movie-going experience since seeing "Star Wars: Episode III" on opening night in Westwood, CA. That time, my friend Muldoon captured multiple beach balls from the excited crowd and ripped them apart before their very eyes. Every single Star Wars geek in the theater booed him. He stood up and waved his arms for more, taunting them. He reveled in their boos. Their disapproval gave him life. 
     "What the matter? Did you mom not hug you enough?" a guy behind us asked.
     Muldoon shot back, "Did your mom hug you too much?"
     At that very moment Muldoon became "Darth Muldoon," fully turning to the dark side of the force.

I cannot wait for my next great movie-going experience.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Dear JJ Abrams:

Congratulations on being chosen to spearhead the continuation of my 2nd favorite movie franchise. One suggestion, please include this exchange before a major action sequence...

Leia: (to Han) "What are you doing?"
Han: "You know me. I always shoot first."
Leia: "I have a bad feeling about this."
Han smirks, shoots blaster.

Thank you in advance. May the Force be with you.

Love & Light Sabers,

John Brennan

P.S. In Star Trek (2009), young Kirk steals a car and blasts "Sabotage" by The Beastie Boys. Really? It's the friggin' 23rd century! This is almost akin to modern day gang bangers cranking lute music while on a drive-by. Do better.  I'm sorry. Small nitpick for an otherwise brilliant movie. Please avoid this type of faux pas in Episode VII. Gracias.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Poop - The Biggest Pile I Have Ever Seen

Warning: This Video Contains Graphic Content.

I worked as a janitor while going to college. One day, I encountered the biggest pile of human poop in the entire Milky Way Galaxy. Since I had to clean it up either way, I decided to have my brother come down and record the moment. A memory to cherish forever. This video is not for the squeamish. I'm warning you. For real. Watch at your own risk.

E.T. phone home...

Friday, January 18, 2013

"Damn! Suburban Honky Pimps"

Coming never to a theater near you.


Actor Jay Grippe shows what it means to be totally committed to a role even if his director, writer, and producers are complete dicks.


Here is a filthy and crazy improvised video project my friends and I did in 2002...

Friday, January 11, 2013

Monday, January 7, 2013


Dear President Obama:

I am honored to have been nominated as the next Director of the C.I.A. (Central Intelligence Agency). Your ever-growing trust in my work ethic is the bedrock of my Universe. Sadly, I must decline. I have way too much work ahead of me with the other C.I.A. (Cookie Institute of America). Thank you for your time and consideration. Love to Michelle and the kids.


John Brennan