Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Unchecked Facts & Figures (III)

Studies Show: Most nocturnal orgasms - a.k.a. "wet dreams" - occur when horny ghosts take advantage of a sleeping, living person's genitals. Sources say it has something to do with the undead's everlasting bed sheet fetish. Sleep tight! Or, if you're into it, sleep loose!


Unchecked Facts & Figures (II)

Studies Show: Laptop computers be acting like pussies. They can't even stand a little water in the keyboard. Put on some fish-shapped swimmies and jump in the goddamn pool already you weak pieces of shit!

Unchecked Facts & Figures (I)

Studies Show: The world no longer caters exclusively to omnivores. Case in point, the lack of Scorpion burgers at McDonald's. Sources say this is also a form of discrimination against Arachnid.