Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Fifty Funny Songs...

This is by no means a definitive list of the funniest songs ever made. Not even close. Simply put, these are fifty ditties that make me laugh (in no hierarchic order). Certain selections might not even be considered comedy by some, and I definitely left out shitloads of hilarious tunes. Whatever. Fuck 'em. A number of artists show up multiple times; I will group their works together. I'll also try to connect unrelated songs with a theme, however loosely. Okay, let's get giggling...

1. 'Fat' by Weird Al Yankovic
In my opinion, Weird Al is a comedic genius. I used to wait all day long for this video to play on MTV. I would laugh my little ten-year-old balls off every time. Still do, in fact. And yes, my balls are still little. And yes, I'm almost as fat as these obese dancers. Growing old sucks, but luckily this video never will...

2. 'Eat It' by Weird Al Yankovc
He was the master of Michael Jackson parodies, but at one time I did not appreciate Weird Al at all. In fact, he angered me. I was a huge Jackson fan as a very young boy (no pedophile humor intended). My older cousin tried to insult me when this video first came out by saying, "Eat It is better than Beat It." I cried tears of rage. The insult worked. Now, as an adult, I think this is better than 'Beat It' in a lot of ways. Funny how tastes change (food pun intended).

*On a side note: When Weird Al called Kurt Cobain to ask his permission to parody 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' Cobain asked, "It's not going to be about food, is it?"

3. 'Rape Me' by Richard Cheese 
Speaking of Cobain, here is a cover of his infamous song 'Rape Me' performed by L.A. based lounge singer Richard Cheese. His name alone is enough to love the guy. If that wasn't enough, his band's name is Lounge Against The Machine. Brilliant. They've covered many popular tunes. This is my favorite so far. 

4. ' Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah' by Allan Sherman
From one bow tie to another. Here's a timeless classic from the 1960s, based on letters of protest Sherman received from his son while away at camp. I don't blame the kid. I fucking hated camp too; I went for a week and never went back. Wikipedia tells me that the music is from a ballet named 'Dance of the Hours' by some mofo named Ponchielli.

5. 'Hello, I Must Be Going' by Groucho Marx
Second of three 'hello' songs. From the 1930 Marx Brothers film "Animal Crackers". IMDB trivia on the film: The movie's line "One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know." was voted as the #53 movie quote by the American Film Institute (out of 100).

6. 'Hello, My Baby' by Michigan J. Frog
'Hello' tune #3. Originally a Tin Pan Alley song written in 1899 about a guy who has a girlfriend he only knows through the telephone. In 1955, the Looney Toons short 'One Froggy Evening' cemented its comedy status forever. Made me laugh when I was eight, will make me laugh when I'm eighty. Here's a link to the full short: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRnX4quv5W4 
And if that wasn't enough, Mel Brooks one-upped it in 1987 with an amazing scene in 'Spaceballs': http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XU1MAokrrUk

7. 'Springtime For Hitler' by Mel Brooks 
Mel Brooks is a true Renaissance Man. He's an actor/writer/producer/director/composer/and more. This musical number from the 1968 version of 'The Producers' (his directorial debut) is one of his finest achievements. IMDB says: Mel Brooks cannot read music. "Springtime for Hitler" and "Prisoners of Love" (as were all the songs Brooks writes for his films) were hummed into a tape recorder and transcribed by an expert.

8. 'Uncle Fucker' by Trey Parker, Marc Shaiman & Matt Stone
From one Renaissance Man to another. Trey Parker, in my opinion, is our current reigning comedy master. He can pretty much do it all (Matt Stone ain't no slouch either, and Marc Shaiman is a lauded composer, lyricist, and arranger). I can't find the quote right now, but someone cited "South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut" as the last great movie musical of the 20th century. Here is the obvious show-stopper...

9. 'America Fuck Yeah' by Trey Parker
From the Parker-directed marionette action film "Team America: World Police". While not a full-blown musical, there are plenty of hilarious musical elements in the movie. This song is an over-the-top parody of extremist national pride. Or is it? It gets me pumped up to love America, so maybe this isn't a parody at all. Fuck Yeah!

10. 'Now You're a Man' by DVDA
Opening credit theme from Parker's super-low-budget 1997 feature film "Orgasmo". For me, this song has more testosterone behind it than any of the songs on any of the "Rocky" soundtracks. Yes, even 'Eye of the Tiger'. If I were somehow forced to play in an NFL game for some insane and unfathomable reason, this is the song I'd pump in the locker room just before meeting my doom. The band's name, DVDA, is something that happens in porno movies. Look it up if you dare.

11. 'Hasa Diga Eebowai' by Trey Parker, Matt Stone, & Robert Lopez

And one more involving Parker from the new Broadway musical "The Book of Mormon". Saw it two weeks ago. Amazing. Brilliant. Hilarious. Crass. Heartfelt. What an entertaining show. I will not spoil the English translation of the song's title, and you shouldn't either. It is an amazing discovery within the show's context. This is currently so new that the soundtrack isn't available yet. I'll keep an eye out for it. In the meantime, buy tickets as soon as possible. You will not be sorry.

12. 'Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee' by Stockard Channing
Continuing with musicals. This is from "Grease", which ran on Broadway from 1972-1980 and had revivals in 1994 & 2007. The version below (definitive, in my opinion) is from the 1978 movie adaptation. Channing nails it and her legs are damn sexy. I always bust out laughing when she proclaims, "Eh... Fongool, I'm Sandra Dee." 

13. 'Sweet Transvestite' by Tim Curry
Here's my favorite number from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show". Some people despise this movie. I don't get those people at all. 

14. 'Dentist!' by Steve Martin
"Little Shop Of Horrors", by composer Alan Menken and writer Howard Ashman, is based on Roger Corman's 1960 low budget horror film of the same name. Here's Steve Martin bringing down the house in the 1986 movie version, directed by Frank Oz (the man who voiced Yoda, Miss Piggy, and Fozzy Bear).

15. 'My Little Buttercup' by The Three Amigos
Steve Martin was involved with another great musical number in "The Three Amigos", accompanied by Chevy Chase and Martin Short. Randy Newman wrote the song, and also co-wrote the screenplay with Martin and Lorne Michaels (the creator of "Saturday Night Live").

16. 'Medium Pace' by Adam Sandler
Connecting through Lorne Michaels: "Saturday Night Live" alum Adam Sandler's song from his 1993 comedy album 'They're All Gonna Laugh At You!'. The album title comes from a scene in the movie "Carrie".

17. 'Lunch Lady Land' by Adam Sandler
From the same album, as performed on SNL with the late great Chris Farley.

18. 'Ode to My Car' by Adam Sandler
More Sandler. From his 1996 album 'What The Hell Happened To Me?'.

19. ' Buckwheat's Greatest Hits' by Eddie Murphy
From one SNL alum to another, here are four musical performances from Eddie Murphy. Believe it or not, he used to be the funniest man alive. Return to us Eddie. Return to us, please. Be funny again...

20. 'Too Hot In The Hot Tub' by Eddie Murphy


21. 'Kill The White People' by Eddie Murphy 

22. 'Ebony & Ivory' by Eddie Murphy and Joe Piscopo

23. 'Jizz In My Pants' by The Lonely Island
And the final SNL cast member on the list, Andy Samberg. I believe the title is self-explanatory.

24. 'TV Party' by Black Flag
So much talk about SNL cast members, here's a song that name-drops the show. This is from the classic 1981 punk album 'Damaged', ranked number 340 on Rolling Stone's list of The 500 Greatest Albums Of All Time. Watch TV... Have a couple 'a brews... TV party tonight!!!

25. 'Yakety Sax' by Boots Randolph
Continuing with the theme of television, I present one of two actual TV themes on the list. This is from 'The Benny Hill Show'. It's an instrumental, sure, but for some reason it makes almost anything funny. To prove that point, here below, someone added it to news footage of a police chase...

26. 'Pee Wee's Playhouse Theme' by Cindy Lauper
Second of the two theme songs. Yup, for any trivia hounds out there, Cindy Lauper lent the lead vocals to this theme, but is credited under a pseudonym 'Ellen Shaw'. Another bit of trivia, this song was co-written by Mark Mothersbaugh of Devo!

27. 'Lumberjack Song' by Monty Python
From American children's programming to British adult-oriented sketch comedy. Almost everyone should be familiar with the Pythons. They have the most entries on this list, and for good reason. This classic sketch is from their TV show "Monty Python's Flying Circus".

28. 'Sit On My Face' by Monty Python
The next two entries are from 1982's "Monty Python Live At The Hollywood Bowl". Here's the show opener...

29. 'Never Be Rude To An Arab' by Monty Python
And now for the greatest song about racism ever created.

30. 'Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life' by Monty Python
The closing scene from their 1979 masterpiece "Life Of Brian". After the original backers pulled the budget at the last minute (because they read the script), former Beatle George Harrison stepped in and saved the film with a large chunk of money. When asked why he was interested in such a risky venture, George said: 'Well, I wanted to see the film.' Blessed are the cheese-makers and blessed is George Harrison. 

31. 'Knights Of The Round Table' by Monty Python
From 1975's "Holy Grail". Camelot... it is a silly place.

32. 'Every Sperm Is Sacred' by Monty Python
The next two entries are from 1983's "The Meaning Of Life". 

33. 'The Penis Song' by Monty Python

34. 'My-ding-a-ling' by Chuck Berry
Following up on the theme of penis, here's another ditty about male genitals, but a little less overt. A double entendre novelty song, written by rock & roll icon Chuck Berry.

35. 'Big Balls' by AC/DC
What penis would be complete without balls? I feel bad for eunuchs.

36. 'Detachable Penis' by King Missile
Carrying over the theme of cock and balls, here is a very different tune about manhood. This video received a surprising amount of airplay in the 90s on radio and MTV. If only they would be so bold today.

37. 'MTV Makes Me Wanna Smoke Crack' by Beck
Speaking of MTV... now for a song written by Beck from when he was an experimental lo-fi folk hero. The original version was his first official release. Posted below is the 'lounge' version.

38. 'Satan Gave Me A Taco' by Beck 

From his "Stereopathetic Soulmanure" album. I love Mexican food so much that I would actually, quite possibly, eat the taco he describes.

39. 'Food' by Buck 65
All right, because Beck's satanic taco made me fuckin hungry, let's kick off a food section. This is from Canadian rapper Buck 65, off "Square". Although the album only consists of four tracks, each track contains multiple songs. Here's a snippet from track four.

40. 'Toast' by Heywood Banks
A song created with two forks and a toaster, used as percussion instruments? Fantastic.

41. 'Kielbasa' by Tenacious D
Opener from the D's self-titled studio debut. All you motherfuckers say a prayer...

42. 'Who Hid The Halibut On The Poop Deck?' by Yogi Yorgesson
Yogi is a regular on Dr. Demento's radio show. This song was included on Volume 2 of 'The Rhino Brothers Present: The World's Worst Records'. I'm sorry, but this is way better than that goddamn Drake song: 'You Da, You Da Best'. I'm 100% serious.

43. 'Ding Fries Are Done' by ?
The true origin of this song and video is still up in the air. Here's a web page with more info: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/ding-fries-are-done

44. 'Takin Retards To The Zoo' by The Dead Milkmen
Time for a tangent. I apologize if anyone is offended, but I love this 48 second punk song. Sometimes, it's all about the brevity. Here's a link to a fan video: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/86889

45. 'Meow Mix Jingle' by Cat
Now for a tangent on a tangent... Speaking of the zoo, let's do a few tunes related to animals!

46. 'Ballad Of A Dog Named Stains' by Red Peters
I remember hearing this on the Howard Stern Show many years ago. Say what you will about the slow build, I think it totally makes the punchline.

47. 'Suck a Cheetah's Dick' by Wesley Willis
Wesley Willis was a musician from Chicago. He had an affinity for head-butting things (it was his favorite greeting). Due to this, a circular bruise remained a permanent fixture on his forehead. He passed away in 2003. R.I.P. I love how he specifies 'suck a MALE Camel's dick with hoisin sauce'...

48. 'Cut The Mullet' by Wesley Willis
A tangent on a tangent on a tangent: This has nothing to do with food, or retarded persons, or animals. Just needed to include more Wesley Willis. Here, he's letting you know that you should go the barber and tell him you're sick of looking like an asshole...

49. 'Jam Tomorrow, Jam Yesterday' by Carol Channing
Okay, back to food related entries. Now we're getting weird. For sure, this is the creepiest, most fucked up, most psychedelic offering on this list. It's a hoot. From the 1985 TV movie version of "Alice In Wonderland", which truthfully, I remember being pretty cool. The Jabberwocky was scary as hell! The clip below is a scene which has stuck with me throughout the years. I mean, the logic behind the song is mind blowing. And Carol Channing's face, fucking hell... she turns into a goddamn sheep! Jesus Christ! Maybe this should be on a list of 100 scary songs, but it's absurd enough to place here. Children's entertainment was far better in the 80s, I don't care what anyone says.

50. 'Purple People Eater' by Sheb Wooley
Since the Purple People Eater is eating people, I'm including him in the food section. A novelty hit which reached #1 on the billboard charts in 1958. This is my friend Nathan Jordan's favorite song of all time (funny or otherwise).

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