C.I.A.

Dear President Obama:

I am honored to have been nominated as the next Director of the C.I.A. (Central Intelligence Agency). Your ever-growing trust in my work ethic is the bedrock of my Universe. Sadly, I must decline. I have way too much work ahead of me with the other C.I.A. (Cookie Institute of America). Thank you for your time and consideration. Love to Michelle and the kids.

Regrets,

John Brennan